Cha-cha-cha-changes

I used to be terrified of change - even the slightest bit. When I was a youngster, even if my toy horse collection got out of order because my pesky younger siblings would move them, I would feel anxiety and have to put them back to the way they were. Some may call this OCD, but I think I was just not comfortable with changing the way that I did things. I eventually grew out of being so concerned with little things as I got a little older, but when it came to bigger issues in my life, such as having to step out of my comfort zone and make friends at the many new schools I had to attend, I would feel so much stress that I would sometimes shut down. I think this is because I didn't have enough confidence in myself to face the changes and conquer them. This happened a lot when I faced some sort of loss or rejection - either from a breakup, a friend moving away, a death in the family, or even from not getting the grade I wanted in school. I got so used to my "routine" of being in a relationship or always getting the grade I wanted or always hanging out with certain friends on certain days, that I crumbled inside when I was faced with the breaking of my "routines". This pattern went on for years until actually recently. About a month ago, I got so broken down after a certain rejection that I literally stayed down - I didn't get out of bed for a few days because I felt defeated by the change. I was done. KO'd. I had finally gotten used to a certain routine that I put my heart and soul into maintaining and it suddenly changed. I was NOT okay - or so I thought. When I finally sat up in bed on the third day, I just cried out to God, asking Him to help me deal with this change that was out of my control of fixing and boy did He respond quickly. Immediately, I felt peace in my heart and my weak body (I didn't eat during that time in bed) was strengthened. Times like those are proof to me that God is there, listens to you, and cares about you. I picked up my journal and started writing about what I was feeling. I also picked up my Bible and it was suddenly filled with key verses about change and trusting in God - exactly what I needed to read. From that point on, I woke up every morning and took on a new, HEALTHY "routine" of reading my Bible and writing in my journal. I learned to cope with the negative changes that were going on around me and started changing for the better internally. I felt like I had finally discovered who I really was underneath all that anxiety and fear of the unknown. Once I started putting my trust in God, the One Who won't ever let me down, I was able to forgive and accept those who did let me down in this life. Change is inevitable. It is not always bad, but when it is, there is Someone you can rely on to help you cope with it. And there is always a silver lining. Keep on walking and looking up and you'll find it.

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Legacy

I just lost a close friend recently to a snowboarding accident. It was sudden and tragic and many people were in shock when they got the news, including me. When I think about Phil, I think of him as being happy and alive and smiling, I don't think of him as being gone forever. I have been pondering this and have realized that this is because of the legacy that he left every person he had ever met during his 22 years of life on earth. Upon attending Phil's memorial service and listening to all the stories and  treasuring all the good times I had with him, the bottom line was clear: You could not think about Phil without smiling. He was a funny guy and lived to laugh, which was contagious. He also had hope in Jesus, which made him all the more joyful and pleasant to be around. That fact also reassures us all that he is Heaven cracking jokes with his Heavenly Father and we will see him again someday - when our time on earth is up. I have been thinking a lot about my own life through this and wondering what people would say about me if I suddenly passed. I would hope that they would say good things and smile when they thought about me. I would hope that they would know that I loved Jesus and people by the way I lived my life. That kind of legacy lives on and encourages the people survived by you to follow in your footsteps and continue loving and living life to the fullest. I encourage you to think about your own life. How are you living it? What do you think people are saying about you now and what would they say if you died tomorrow? I would hope good things. Live each day as if it were your last. Get your priorities straight. Tell those you love that you do. Apologize to those you've hurt. Go out of your way to help people in need. Spend time with loved ones. Do things that make you happy. Write- because your words will outlast you. Laugh. Really LIVE. How could people forget you if you did?

"I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one..."

"Legacy" - Nicole Nordeman

Singles Awareness Day

Well folks, as you all well know, today is Valentine's Day. A happy, special day for those that have significant others, and a sad, lonely day for us single people. Many people affectionately refer to this blessed day as "Singles Awareness Day" because yes, single people are made more aware that they are alone on February fourteenth. Well, I am here to remind all you individuals that you don't need a significant other to be loved and appreciated. If you have some good friends and a family that accepts you for you, then feel blessed! Don't hide away and sulk on this day. Instead, go and flaunt your singleness! Consider it your freedom from having to buy a Valentine's Day gift or having to write a mushy love note just because every one else is doing it. Have fun with your other single friends today because, gasp! You are not the only one :) Know that although you may not have someone to hold hands with and kiss at the moment, you may have someone in the future. I challenge you to pray for your future Valentine today - that their heart would be prepared for you. Here are some good quotes about being single and waiting that I thought you may like:

"When you're single, your pockets will jingle." -Anonymous

"Sometimes you have to stand alone to prove you can still stand." -Anonymous

"The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."- Jo Courdert

"Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."  -Veronica A. Shoffstall


Have a great day and keep your chin up! <3

You've Got a Friend in Me

You call us friends
But do you know what that entails?
It means that until the very end,
Through thick and thin,
And through laughter and tears,
Our bond will win

Love is patient, love is kind
I will strive to live that out
If you are a friend of mine
Be you a new pal or old buddy
I will stick with you through any season
Be the forecast rainy or sunny

For you make up who I am
You are the colors in my sunset
You are the flowers on my patch of land
I count you each a blessing in my short time here on earth
I am grateful for the chance to know you
And hope you realize your worth

You friend, mean more to me than silver or gold
Because unlike material possessions,
You will never rust or mold
Although life may get busy and we may grow apart,
I will always consider you one of the few
That will forever be in my heart

Poker Face

You searched for me with just a name
Because you had to see me again
On a whim and a hope, you laid down your cards
Asking if I would join the game
I noticed your grit and your charm
And decided to take the chance
I looked in your eyes and knew
That you meant me no harm
As the game continued on,
The stakes rose just a little higher
I felt my poker face start to disappear
And I knew from there that it wouldn't be long
Until I lost all I had bargained for
You lead a different life away from the table
I was just a face that held your gaze only for a little while
You won the game and then some more
I will never be the same
I let down my guard and let you in
And it was bliss knowing that you saw through to my core
I do not regret playing the round
You showed me how to play it well
So take your earnings
Enjoy your life
And know that I will be here
With all my yearning
To play the game again someday
Maybe with somebody new
But I will never forget you
And hope someday that you may
Look at me from across the table
As we lay our hands down,
You'd smile and say,
"You win."

Masquerade

A crowd of people, a sea of faces
Each individual disguising the empty places
In their lives and in their hearts
Secretly longing for someone to heal the hurting parts
That are contained behind their masks
Waiting for someone to simply ask
Wishing for a safe place to share
To open up to someone who truly cares
Someone who won't judge them on the surface
A kind soul who reminds them of their meaning and purpose
When the mask is gone, inner beauty shines
Maskless people are the lights in this dark time
So lift your mask, join with me
Open your eyes, look around, and see
That there are others who need your help
To take off their masks and reveal their real selves

Lessons Learned

I am only 21 years old and have a lot left to learn about the world and how things work, but I feel I have gained some wisdom through experiences gone through in my life. I have gained wisdom about relationships - whether it be family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships. Through each connection to another human being, I have grown mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Ultimately, I have discovered much about myself. There are a lot of things I wish I would have known back then that would have changed the outcome of some situations, but I am grateful for the learning experiences. I don't think I would be the person I am today if I didn't make those choices or mistakes. I have mostly learned what not to do, but nontheless, I have learned. I will share some wisdom I have obtained over my 21 years of life on this earth:

Tell those you love that you do every day - you never know when will be the last time you'll see them.
Never go to bed angry.
Smile - people will want to be around you.
Spend more time thinking about what you have, not what you don't have - you'll be a more thankful person.
It's OKAY to let people help you - everyone needs help sometimes.
Forgive - even when you've been hurt deeply.
True love is worth waiting for - even if it takes years.
Never give your heart to someone before it has been healed - nobody wants just pieces.
You don't need a man (or woman) to make you happy and complete - all you need is God.
Your family is the only one you've got - cherish them.
Good friends are hard to find, but when you find them, they enrich your life.
God answeres prayers, sometimes instantaneously, but most things take time.
Do what makes YOU happy - don't always try and please every one else or you'll become a doormat.
Everything happens for a reason.
If you love someone, let them go. If it's meant to be, they'll come back to you.
Go at your own pace - you don't always need to kill yourself to keep up (except in school haha).
Work hard in everything you do - you'll be a valuable employee.
Put God first above all things - your life will become balanced and you will be truly happy.
Second chances come with every sunrise.

These are just SOME things I have learned..but they are important, so I wanted to share them :)
God Bless.