The Age of Innocence

When I was a kid, I had an imaginary friend. "Stardust" was a beautiful white horse that possessed the persona of a wise old man. Stardust and I would go on adventures together in the empty field across from my childhood house and we would find many wondorous things. For example, one time we found an array of bones, (not sure what animal they were from) but we pretended that the the dirt field was an ancient Indian burial ground and that we had discovered the bones of the chief, therefore they were magical and gave us super powers. I was given the power of great knowledge and Stardust was given the power of speed. Together, we were a mighty force. In addition to being my superhero sidekick, Stardust was my mentor and friend. I would tell him my worries and fears and share with him my joys. He was always there. When I finally grew up, (and I mean finally :p) I left Stardust behind and became consumed in "real life". When I couldn't see Stardust anymore, I knew I had finally grown up. Or did I?
When do we "lose" our imagination? Do society and experiences that force us to grow up play a part in removing that filter from our minds and hearts? I think of childhood innocence as a filter because it only allows us to see what we want to see. When you're a kid, all you want to see is happiness and joy, therefore, you see life through your imagination. Even if you have lived through horrendus experiences at a young age, you escape through your imagination. It allows you to live in a state of happiness. One may say it is a state of ignorance, but nonetheless, a child is protected within his or her imagination.
So how do we get our innocence back? Some may say it is impossible. However, I've found that I relive my childhood when I spend time with imaginative children. This helps me recover some of my innocence as I listen to their made-up stories and remember the tales I created in my own mind as a child. Another way is to go to a beautiful place (such as a mountain top) and dream. This restores some of my childhood wonderment and reminds me to regard everything beautiful with awe. So you see, all is not lost when it comes to imagination. Your mind can still paint beautiful pictures if you give it a paintbrush. You may not have all the paint you had as a child, but you can still paint a picture. Don't get so caught up in the seriousness of this life. I'm going to end this thing with a song by Kenny Loggins. It reminds me of my childhood.

Christopher Robin and I walked along
Under branches lit up by the moon
Posing our questions to Owl and Eeyore
As our days disappeared all too soon
But I've wandered much further today than I should
And I can't seem to find my way back to the Wood

So help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

Winnie the Pooh doesn't know what to do
Got a honey jar stuck on his nose
He came to me asking help and advice
From here no one knows where he goes
So I sent him to ask of the Owl if he's there
How to loosen a jar from the nose of a bear

Help me if you can
I've got to get back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
You'd be surprised
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin and Pooh

It's hard to explain how a few precious things
Seem to follow throughout all our lives
After all's said and done I was watching my son
Sleeping there with my bear by his side
So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going
I swear that the old bear whispered "Boy welcome home"

Believe me if you can
I've finally come back
To the House at Pooh Corner by one
What do you know
There's so much to be done
Count all the bees in the hive
Chase all the clouds from the sky
Back to the days of Christopher Robin
Back to the ways of Christopher Robin
Back to the days of Pooh

What's in a Name?

I've never really blogged before, so I'm not sure how to start these things, but I guess I should introduce myself! My name is Cassandra Ann Courtney, but you would only hear my full-name used by mother when she was "disappointed in me" as I was growing up or now, by my doctor or professors. My "official nickname" is Cassie, but have been called many other names throughout my lifetime. From "Cass" and "Andie", "Casserole", and the "Great Cassushis", to "Short One", "Tiny Guitar Player", and "C-to-the-Assie" (Oh, high school, how I miss thee..), with each friend (or bully) referring to me as something different. Most of these nicknames I was okay with, but some I must admit, hurt my feelings when I was very young and going through that awkward preeteen stage. "Chicken-legs" isn't exactly music to the ears when you're a young girl trying to develop self-esteem. Luckily, I moved past all negative labels as I grew up and discovered who exactly I was. I still have chicken legs, but I guess I kind of grew into them. I am still establishing my "name" in the world, but here's what I know so far about this so-called "Cassie":
She has a lot of love in her heart for people and especially, animals
She is very driven towards the things that she wants and absolutely HATES giving up
She is confident in herself, but she also knows that she would be lost without the people that love and support her
She has strong moral convictions and knows without a doubt, right from wrong
She can feel others' pain and can tell who is struggling without them even revealing it to her
She is very competitive - mostly with herself
She will sometimes "check-out" of situations because she can't/doesn't want to deal with them at the moment
She thinks and rethinks people, problems, and situations through wayy too intensly
She has been so emotionally wounded in the past that she has a hard time opening up to anyone
She often doesn't let others know if she is hurting
She knows she is a doormat to some people, but if she stood up for herself, they'd leave
She is terrified of being alone
She wishes she had more time to do things that make her happy
She tells her animals everything she wishes she could tell someone who'd listen
She is more comfortable hanging out with guys because they aren't so quick to judge
She has alway been an adrenaline junkie, but has gotten more careful with age (and accidents :p)
She sometimes begs God to allow her do-overs
She loves music and has a playlist for every mood she's in
She is somewhat nervous about putting all her thoughts and feelings online for all the world to see, but knows that it might help some people that identify with her nonsense
Well, that was a longer list than I thought! I guess I can get carried-away sometimes..That's another fact about me! Haha. All of these things make up the unique characteristics associated with my name. They separate me from the other "Cassandra Ann Courtneys" in the world and help remind me that God made me just the way I am for a reason. I may have made a bunch of stupid mistakes in my life, but I am still learning and growing and discovering who I am. I am forgiven by a God who gave me my name and  knows exactly who I was meant to be. Who are you? And most importantly, who will you be tomorrow? What does your name mean and how will you make your name stand out in the world?  Now to end this thing with a quote. I love quotes.."To live in mankind is far more than to live in a name." -Vachel Lindsay
Thanks for reading :]