Heartbreak Warfare

I was 15 years old when I first had my heart broken..Some may say that is a bit young, and I agree, but I don't think you are ever too young to feel that deeply about something. Experiencing pain like that initially made me angry and self-destructive, and eventually, hardened and bitter. I was angry that things didn't turn out my way and blamed God and other people for the emotional pain that I had to go through. God eventually gave me a wake-up call and I realized that I needed to forgive and let go in order to heal. Once I did that, I was finally able to experience true happiness. I was happy for years until I opened up my healed heart to someone else and he shattered it too. I've heard it said that "the first cut is the deepest", but I've found the opposite to be true. Maybe it is because I was older during this time and more mature in my way of looking at and experiencing love, therefore, I felt a deeper connection to this person. I reacted to the emotional pain differently this time and bottled it up, pushing away my feelings to the point where I just felt numb after awhile. I lost interest in the things I once loved and distanced myself from the people that loved me. I was a mess. It took me years to face my feelings, deal with them, and crawl out of depression, but I did it with God's help. I don't really believe that time heals everything; instead, it has to be a decision that one makes every single day. It also helps to have some guidance from the Big Guy upstairs ;) God put people in my life that pursued me when I wanted to withdraw from the world and reminded me that there are other things more important to live for. I used to reflect on the past through tearful eyes, but now I can look at the past through grateful eyes. I am thankful that I have been saved from depression by a God Who is full of grace and mercy. He has given me many second chances, even when fellow human beings have not. And He will never break my heart.

Hope For What is to Come

As many of you know, I lost a great friend just recently. He was covered in soft black and white fur, used the furniture as his personal scratching post, begged for table scraps, purred loudly, and kept my feet warm each night. Okay, he was a cat :p But not just any cat..He was a wonderful, lovable cat that I considered a big part of my life. I raised him from a tiny 6 week old ball of fluff that just wanted to eat and sleep snuggled up in my jacket. I'd sneak him into class with me in my purse and he was perfectly content to sleep in there the whole hour and wouldn't make a peep. He LOVED going for car rides and would look out the window as I drove. Whenever I was sad, he would sit on my lap and give me kisses. He'd be waiting at the top of the stairs when I got home each day, and he'd sleep on my bed each night. I loved him with all my heart. Some people can't understand the bond that some people develop with animals, but what we had was special. Although it is very sad that Marleau had to tragically die, I believe that he is in Heaven frolicking among the flowers and chasing butterflies, all the while being watched by Jesus. I think that animals go to Heaven because they bring us so much joy here on earth. It says in the Bible that in Heaven, "...the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard will lie down with the baby goat. The calf and the yearling will be safe with the lion, and a little child will lead them all." Isaiah 11:6 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever." Rev. 21:4. I am grieving for my little friend, but within that grief, there is hope that I will see him again someday. Loss is always difficult, but if you share that hope of eternal life with the person you have lost, you can be sure that you will see them again.